Finding yourself again through Masterminding

“Fine tuning life before, during and after children” is my mantra and  doing that is a process.  Not one to be left for another time, one that needs to be thought of and chipped away at day after day.

One day a few years ago I was watching Oprah  Sarah, the Duchess of York, was discussing how she was a simple girl who all of a sudden was a princess and now, if not for her ex-husband helping her, she would be homeless. It really hit home with me.

How could that be?  Well, she explained that it was all too much and how she lost herself during it all, something I think many women experience once they marry and the children come along.  Of course her situation is of a whole different caliber then yours and mine I would think, but in the end, the result is the same.   We get caught up in what is expected of us , what our children and our families need, and we get lost.

I also think once you leave the work force to stay home that’s when the sense of loosing yourself begins. But FEAR NOT!! I’m here to tell you (with sword in hand ready to conquer!) you can once again find the hidden spark that made you shine long before you changed those diapers and started “mom’s taxi service.”

One way to do that is around your dining room table or if you have little ones sit on the floor!  Yes it’s that simple!  Get together with your friends and start talking… talking about your ambitions, what you want to do with the rest of your life.  You will be surprised what will happen.

I know this first hand because 2 years ago last September my friends and I met for lunch one day and Evelyn had a brainstorm!  She realized that we all had businesses that weren’t being marketed correctly or were stagnate and so that day became the beginning of our Mastermind Group.   Since then we have all blossomed and grown.

My idea of becoming an author, and bringing adoption, art and supplementation together began to grown and now it’s all coming together. I do portfolios for pre adoptive parents looking to adopt domestically, (my first video so I’m a little camera shy). Along with that I help support parents with their behavioral challenges with the Total Transformation Program ( click the widget on the sidebar).  This crazy idea I had two years ago, is coming alive and I have accomplished more than I could have imagined that first day we all sat down.

The group has changed a few times since it started but the change has always been because a person hit their goal and left the group to pursue the job they set out to get.

New people have joined and new ideas come about week after week and the drive and dreams we all have are really materializing!

So see what 4 women started around my dining room table? It’s been life changing.. I suggest if you have the itch for a change get some friends, it’s free and freeing at the same time. Remember life passes quickly you don’t want to look in the mirror one day and say “Where did the person I used to be go?”

Just take a quick look at my dreams coming true….

To pull all of this together I am fine tuning my plan that will be unveiled soon.  It is being formulated to help YOU get through the adoption process before, during and after you have come home.

It is a new concept that is getting great reviews and I will keep you updated.  In the meantime take a look at my site http://www.reginaradomski.com there are things there that can help you now.

You can also sign up to get 2 Free Chapters of my upcoming book “From Half to Whole” on there!

For more support if you feel that is missing in your life join us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/conqueringadoption/  it is a closed group that only members can see.

Until next time… All the Best

Gina

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reginaslifebookblog

 

The world of adoption leaves many stories untold.

First you have the story of the prospective parents; one that needs to be told so that a birth mother can peek into their world, if only for 5 minutes, while she tries to make one of the most important decisions of her life. Who to trust her newborn baby or older child with is a decision I’m sure she does not take lightly.  A portfolio, done through scrap booking,  highlights your world and helps her with that decision. Sharing life with your partner, your passions, your vacations, your dog, are all important in helping her get a feeling for you.

The second story that needs to be told is the story of how a child came to be adopted into the family.  This story is one that will last a lifetime.  It will answer questions about their past and at…

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My Glimpse into an Adopted Childs Transition

As you all know the Jersey Shore took a beating after Hurricane Sandy.

Our two houses survived for the most part, but being there on Saturday hit me in a way I never thought about before. I feel in my heart I got a glimpse into what an adopted child feels like during all the transition they go through.

Let me explain…

Since all power, gas and water had been shut down  for some time we now have to get it all working again. One house came away unscathed except for 1 floor. Saturday as my son and I sat in that 44 degree house waiting for the gas man to get everything up and running I got a glimpse out the window. I saw 2 ducks floating in the lagoon with garbage all around them and I started to take it all in for the first time since that October day had changed everything down there. It was a symbol of the past and the present coming together.

There we were in a house that was so cold and alone. Only one month before the storm hit I was there with a bunch of friends enjoying my world and my life and this house saw so much laughter, fun and good friends come together. It was alive!

All summer long we were down there enjoying our “New House.”  It was new because Hurricane Irene had ruined the one that stood there before.  This “New House” is only 8 months old and now as I stood there being one of the few that came away unscathed, I looked out at the night.  It was just starting to get dark, the houses around me and across from me all were dark, no life was seen.  In the windows across from me I saw boxes piled high, that look of bareness was beaming through.  There were only a few street lights, hardly any cars…

Even though it is winter there was always a feel of fresh new starts.
Life down there always feels different then up North. And that night it didn’t feel the same.

As I stood there the minutes past by and the thought of the last year came to mind and brought forth all the changes we have been through, changes that affected our family but didn’t tear us apart….

Last March I spent a weekend down there with my middle son and we shared it with our best friends.   That weekend we were in our other house, the one that is ruined this year. We had a great time.  When we got home late Sunday afternoon we had no idea what was coming.

The next morning our two friends were killed in a car accident not even 24 hours after we saw them.  Now going to that house hurts and is hard.  When I look out my window they are now longer outside laughing and smiling.  I am no longer going over there for my “5 hour breakfasts.”  Life has changed in that little community.

So now going there to work  is hard, they are not coming in and out and offering help.  We are not sneaking away to talk while others look for us.  It is all about healing and rebuilding.

Thinking about all that while reflecting brought my thoughts to the changes adopted kids go through.  I realized that while things were different and a bit sadder down there we find the fortitude to keep going and keep supporting and helping our neighbors.  We are all there for each other but kids, when they are adopted and come to us have no one who understands.  We try as the new parents to console and understand but can we really get it?  Honestly we have no knowledge of their past when you really think about it.  We are taking the word of the caregivers and the little information we get through the paperwork we receive but in reality what do we really know?

As we are come up to our 8th anniversary I can see how much stronger my kids are and how the transition was hard on all of us but we are making it through.  My question has always been to them “How did you find the strength to get on that plane with us  at 5 and 7 years old and leave everything you knew behind?”  It simply amazes me that their answer has been: ” we thought you were our cousins.” THAT gave them the strength they needed to leave their homeland with strangers they only knew for 3 weeks!

Their courage is truly a badge of honor.

That’s why I feel my work in supporting the children and the adoptive parents, whether it is before or after the families are united is so important.  So I have put together 2 ways for you find get help and they are through my website and through my online Facebook adoption support group Conquering Adoption.

Look for us there and find the support you and your family need.  As we grow I expect more and more knowledge to come forth and I hope you will be a part of it!  sign up now for support, you never know when you might need it.

Our journeys are challenging to say the least and we all need someone to lean on so we can support these children the best way possible.

Until next time,

All the Best,

Gina

I’m Back!

Hi everyone, I am back from a long break.  A break from blogging maybe but not from being busy.

Even though I’ve been gone I have been busy.  I have been working on two new things to continue with my mission to support pre and post adoption families and parents.

First I am proud to say my NEW BOOK, From Half to Whole,  the story of our adoption journey and how we overcame the challenges we faced, is due out in the next few months.  That is a huge accomplishment and I am very proud of it!


Secondly, I have started on online adoption support group which I am very proud of also called  CONQUERING ADOPTION.  This is a closed Facebook Group so no one except the members can see what is posted.  It is so important to me that you feel comfortable and not concerned with privacy issues. 

On Conquering Adoption you will have help, support, insight and laughter! To me laughter is of the utmost importance when you are going through the trial and tribulations of adoption.

A unique feature that I am glad to share with you is that while we are there to support each other as adoptive parents we also have some adult adoptees that have agreed to help us and give us insight when they feel it is needed.

so join us will you!  You will see my mission statement when you click on the link and once you join we will be glad to have you!

Until next time.

All the Best,


A little known solution if you are pre diabetic that will amaze You!

Well everyone I know it’s been a long while since I last wrote but I’ve had some trials and tribulations I’ve been going through and I thought now would be a great time to give you some new found information I came across.

As you know I turned 50 this year UGH and of course the blood work now seems to come up with many different issues then it did a few years ago. I feel better then I had in years, my stress level is down considerably yet all of a sudden they started testing me for pancreatic cancer, since my mom had it. what a great 10 days that was waiting for that result! Thankfully nothing, but my doctor nonchalantly brought up well let’s check anyway better to catch it early… WHAT catch it early? It’s a death sentence, I felt, and nothing I want to think about now that I have my life back!

Anyway, that was clear, but it did say that I am pre diabetic something that shocked me because I ate really well all my life. Once I got out of my funk about it I listened to my girlfriend and tried gluten-free baking using almond flour and coconut flour, not the potato, brown rice or other kinds of flours. The almond flour, since it’s nuts contains a lot of protein and little carbs, the coconut flour contains little carbs also, so it’s a win-win for the blood sugar.

I found 2 books that are really easy to follow and all about these 2 flours and whola it fun and working! One is “The Gluten Free Almond Flour Cookbook” and the other is “Gluten Free Cupcakes” both are by Elana Amsterdam and her website is www.elanaspantry.com

The true test came when my aunt started trying it also and her blood sugars were unbelievably good after eating not 1 but 2 muffins and have continued to stabilize this week enabling her to decrease 5 mg of her medication, needless to say she is ecstatic!

So I wanted to let you know if you find yourself in this predicament that there is something that is so easy to do along with limiting your carbs.. I found another book I follow for my meals called “The Insulin-Resistance Diet” and that works like this.. 15 carbs is balanced with 7 proteins at any meal you eat. You can go up to 30 carbs and 15 proteins but thru trial and error I have kept it in the 20 carb range for my self and using the protein muffins (until I get more savvy at it, then I will expand) as my snacks, giving me a small amount of carbs and more protein during those times.

So in a few months I will see what the blood work says but with my aunts sugar levels coming up so good I can’t imagine I’m not on the right track. Check this stuff out we feel it’s a little know secret that could be the matter of small changes that add up to big ones for your health!

Finding new ways to talk to our kids

Recently I read an email from Responsible Sports and it had a great suggestion.  When your child is having a bad attitude about their team, themselves etc. their tip was to ask the child’s permission in such a way that it opens them up for the conversation.  Here’s an excerpt:

“If you have something to tell your child about her attitude, effort, support of teammates, or another issue, try asking for her permission. This will make her more open to your feedback. You might say, “There’s something I’ve noticed you could do that would help you be a better teammate. Do you mind if I tell you?” If she answers “no,” you must respect that and wait for other opportunities.”

This brought to mind something I did once with my son that I learned from Total Transformation. (see the side widget for more information)   They suggested that you ask the child this simple sentence:

“Is the way you are doing____________ working for you?”  If the answer is ‘NO” then say “Why don’t you try it this way.”

It amazed me how easy it was that I had an instant fix to something that needed desperately to change.

Let’s give this a try more often shall we?   The end result is much less arguing and how can we argue with that?

And if you need me you can always find me on my website, Regina  Radomski.com and on Conquering Adoption, my Facebook support group

Until next time, All the Best…. (this is in honor of my friend Joe “BOB” who I miss dearly in my life)

How do you get dinner back into those crazy nights?

The other day I was talking to my husband about all the craziness football lends to the nighttime. With 3 boys in football, one coming home at 6:30 and the other two leaving at 6 and Dad coming home at 7 it’s really tough to have dinner together at the table but it’s not impossible to get a good meal cooked so they have energy and power before or after their workouts.

We talked about how practices don’t end at any particular time and I hear parents saying that at 8:30 (in the evening) the kids have to go home-eat,do homework and shower yet! It must be hard on these families where the mother works; by that time of night everyone is tired but still has to keep moving and we realized how lucky we are that I’m home and making dinner by 4:00 and the kids are starting their homework so there is less to do later.

I have always worked hard to get dinner made under 30 minutes and I am now able to help a friend of mine learn to do the same thing. I’ve given her 2 recipes that are either made in the crockpot, something she is now coming to love and the other is on the stove within 15 minutes, they both happened to involve chicken and really can be both made on the stove within minutes. The key to these 2 recipes are chicken thighs, they are juicy and cook quickly because they are so thin.

Recipe 1: Take the thighs (thawed for on the stove -frozen or thawed for the crockpot) put salt, pepper, garlic powder and paprika on them and voila, they are seasoned and ready to go.
Add some potatoes if you’d like to the crockpot, set it on low and when you get home you have dinner! If you are home and put it in about 1:00 even if it’s frozen set the crockpot on high and it will be done for dinner at 5! Add a vegetable which take all of 10 minutes and you have a balanced meal.

For the stove – Add some olive oil to the pan, cooking on medium heat, brown the chicken then lower the heat to low and cook thru for about 5 minutes, add a salad or chop up some celery and carrots or cucumbers, put in bowl with some oil, vinegar, salt and celery seed and you have a quick vegetable dish.

Recipe 2: In a frying pan or cast iron pan swish some olive oil on the bottom, enough to coat with a little extra, add rosemary, about a palm full, and 4 cloves of smashed garlic. Let that brown, add defrosted chicken thighs and brown them. once they have browned add frozen or defrosted artichoke hearts, found in a bag in the freezer section of your grocers add juice from 3/4 of a lemon, turn heat down to low and let cook for 10 minutes. Done!

She loved both recipes and felt great making something good. We will start to work on other meats next week!

Another thought; I watched a new show yesterday called THE CHEW and they have a segment on called “5 in 5”, you will see it on their site, and they make a meal in 5 minutes with 5 ingredients under $5.00. So there is possibilities out there to help all working moms get something done quickly either when they get home or in the morning.

If you feel overwhelmed and need to organize things because that’s holding you back from getting dinner on the table look at this blog and Evelyn will be sure to help!

Let me know if you have any great tips and I’ll will be sure to include them in a follow up blog on this!

As always, Until next time…. all the best

Adoption Portfolios make it to MODERN FAMILY!

For a year now I have been working on reorganizing my work situation to encompass something I really feel is needed in the world. This last 12 months, which started out with me having this GIANT idea, has proven to be the most memorable and satisfying time of my life!

I started with the idea of doing adoption portfolios(click on photo in either presentation to enlarge it) for domestic adoptions, a presentation of your ancestry that is shown to the birth mother. Then I added into my repertoire Life Books, for after the adoption when your child’s journey into your family is being explored. Now I am working on building a team to support the child with ADD/ADHD so they can use a holistic approach without the use harmful drugs; and last but not least I am, HOPEFULLY, (keep your fingers crossed), going to be working with this wonderful man I just met who is going to orchestrate a project for me and my team that will include cd’s that will have conversational speaking on it for you when you go for your international adoption trip. You will have at your fingertips conversations for you and your child and you and the orphanage staff, so that you are not learning business and/or general language for your country that has nothing to do with your situation.

All of this was a crazy huge idea and now 12 months later some much is happening.

The funny thing is the attention that all of this is getting from everyone I present it to is phenomenal and that’s exciting!

Adoption has slowed down recently but Wednesday nite on MODERN FAMILY the subject of domestic adoption came up and their quick introduction to the adoption portfolio was very funny, I’m sure their adventure into adoption will be something not to be missed! Hopefully this show will get people thinking about adoption again and the numbers will go up.

As you know if you have been reading my blog I am so passionate about getting support to people, so I hope to continue on this journey in my life so that maybe your life as an adoptive parent could be a bit easier. As a footnote to that, if I’m not blogging as religiously as I should you maybe can see why.

One last thing I want to remind everyone of is that, on Saturday Oct. 1st, at Rutgers Bush Campus CPFA is holding the 30th Annual “Let’s Talk Adoption” conference which offers help to the pre and post adoptive parent, and if you are thinking about adoption it’s a great place to start. Walk-ins that morning are welcome!
Let me know if you go and how the experience helped you.

Well till next time, All the Best…

Do you have all the information you need to navigate through adoption?

Hello everyone! It’s been awhile hasn’t it? Here in New Jersey we have had an ungodly amount of rain and an EARTHQUAKE! Something we never have in our area so it’s been an unbelievable summer to say the least…

All the instability felt here in the last few weeks has been alot to handle for all of us, many people have had their world turned upside down with no knowledge on where to go from here. Everyone is taking baby steps day by day just hoping to find that light at the end of the tunnel.

Life sometimes throw you a curve ball and you don’t always know how to hit it to get that home run… (that’s for my boys that little baseball reference since they all played at one time or another)

Adoption is the same thing, you take that leap of faith but then don’t know how to swing at all those curve balls, but there is help out there and I would like to let everyone know about a great resource here in New Jersey. On October 1st a conference is being held at Rutgers Bush Campus to help you with your pre and post adoption needs.

The workshops are set up to help with challenges from “Adoption 101” for those just beginning to think about adoption to “Parenting Adopted Children” giving specific, practical strategies for parents to help their children develop self-control, positive self-esteem, and loving family relationships. With such a wide range of subjects this is a day you wouldn’t want to miss.

The keynote speaker, Mr. Del Pilar an awarded Adoption Activist by the North American Council on Adoptable Children, will be contrasting the “consumer” mentality of finding the “perfect” child with the “commitment” mentality in approaching parenthood. (See his bio on Pg. 2 of the conference brochure)

So you see? The 30th “Let’s Talk Adoption” conference run by CPFA and co-sponsored by The New Jersey Interagency Adoption Council and Rutgers University School of Social Work,Institute for Families, is sure to be a hit!

Visit their website for more information and to sign up for this wonderful and informative day. Oh and let me not forget that Teachers and Social Workers can obtain CEU’s. Now isn’t that a nice bonus? Let your teachers and school know about this wonderful opportunity, they just may make a difference in a child’s life that is in their classroom.

I hope this information will be helpful. it was to my husband and I when we decided to adopt. It was one woman’s story of what her adoptive parents meant to her that secured it for my husband when he had doubts. Within the first 15 minutes of that conference he had made his decision to move forward. Maybe that’s all you need….someones story to help you hit that home run.

As always you can find me on my website and on my online Facebook support group, Conquering Adoption

As always, All the Best

How 5 years makes a difference

While on vacation this week with our adopted boys sisters family alot of talk came up about our adoption experience.  As we spoke at dinner with our other friends, who also adopted the same year as all of us, we realized 5 is the “magic number”.   It is the number of years it took for all of us to feel like we could breath so to speak.

It seemed to be the time in our journey with all our children when we realized we didn’t feel as much anxiety or uncertainty in what we or they were doing.  So hang in there if you are before the 5 year mark, we all believe in this “magic number”!

Now back to the Beach for me!  I hope you are enjoying your summer as much as I am.

As always, until next time, all the best…

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